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17 - Get On Your Knees
And then this morning I got to thinking really deeply after meditating and went to write my latest novel I am working on "The Legendary Elprehzleinn Family Story" and started writing a new chapter called, "On Your Knees". I started writing about the contrast between the whole "world domination" modern movie imagery that is so common you know that relates to that the Warlord or bad guy or whomever forcing every body to worship on their knees. About getting on your knees in church and being "forced like that" or maybe choosing like that. About the amazing healing power of what is depicted in the imagery I made being on your knees like that meditating, and about times when sexually speaking the greatest enlightenment for me about the power of getting down on your knees was transmitted to me interacting with a woman. The way she got down on her knees, the graciousness and purity and ecstasy and enlightenment of that. And me getting on my knees while she reclined on the sofa and returning the love from me to her and making love that way to each other. The divine intense spirituality of that kind of connecting and being together. So I am finding the way to write about the incredibly different states of consciousness that each and all seem very intense regarding "On Your Knees", putting that into my chapter and I came over here to write to you in the midst of that.
Working things out, sharing a new kind of spirituality that is beyond the old kind of "get on your knees".
A true sacredness.
Releasing Myself From Asthma
This story about releasing myself from the idea of and thus the experience of severe hereditary asthma logically ought to go into Chapter 9 on healing. Or Chapter 11 concerning facing the fear of death.
Yet it belongs here because the moment that disease permanently departed from my body and my life I was on my knees. I have heard that at a certain point you have to get angry with your disease in order to heal it. At first I didn't really know what was happening and then over the years I started to realize that I had asthma and I was using the inhaler and having all sorts of trouble breathing.
Meanwhile it is curious that I wrote my honors thesis in university on the topic of "Alternate Nostril Breathing" which is a very powerful yoga breathing technique. Somehow the keys to overcoming hereditary lung and breathing problems was there for me.
It had gotten to the point where I remember being in a private home in California teaching a small class and I was talking and then started laughing and that led to coughing and next thing you know I was waking up on the floor looking up at the faces around me since I had passed out from the coughing fit.
Meanwhile I had also been following my mysterious life path to a place in Rancho Sante Fe California where I used to go and work on computers in a studio there. That beautiful home was on several acres of Eucalyptus trees. I have heard it said that everything a person needs is already on their path.
It was only later that I realized that Eucalyptus is for healing of the lungs. And so there I was regularly going into this Eucalyptus grove without consciously knowing that it was probably effecting the cure of my condition. I used to take breaks from working on the computers there by going outdoors amongst the trees where there was a full sized trampoline. Alone I would jump and play with the idea of fitness and health improvement being my motivation for doing that. Not consciously thinking about healing anything specific, just that general idea.
Gradually I started to notice that as I jumped on the trampoline at a certain intensity it would always trigger an asthma attack. One day I decided I had enough of asthma. It never really felt like me in the first place. Knowing that the trampoline would trigger and attack I had decided to trigger and really strong one and when it hit I just decided to face it.
If you have or know some body with asthma I can tell you the fear is that you are not going to be able to take another breath and you are going to die. As a note let me drop in the idea here that Kriya Yoga teaches something called the "breathless state". And I remember complaining to Voon Muhn Rahn who was doing a lot of healings at the time after I had a one month bout of not being able to breathe at all through my nose. All he said to me was, "great beings don't breathe."
In any case knowing about the ideas of not breathing might be some kind of spiritual achievement but not really knowing much about that nor having any experience of those things I was interested in healing my ability to breathe.
And I more than anything did not like having asthma. It was really annoying me. So I decided to go to that trampoline and trigger the biggest strongest asthma attack that I could out there in the Eucalyptus grove and if I died then so be it. Many years later I realized I had to stop using my fear and disregard for death so readily and find other ways to handle things than to say, "do or die" and other variations on the theme of "I would rather die". That is another part of this story, or maybe not.
In my case I went to the trampoline, triggered a fierce attack which put me on my knees on the trampoline alone in the forest and that means I went into a seizure which means that I felt I could not breathe. In that moment, in that instant my intention to be done with asthma kicked in and right at the point that I had always feared I would die due to not being able to breathe a sudden deep gasp of air rushed into my lungs and the asthma rushed out never to be seen or felt by me again.